Random Stuff

A lot of Soldiers have been getting sick with intestinal issues or what we call “Iraqi Crud” or Hadji Disease”. One of our admin Soldiers has been on quarters for 6 days. It seems no one is immune to this including myself. Two weeks ago, I had my second bout of this stuff and I was absolutely livid since I’m so careful about washing my hands. Well, I was talking to a gal from another company and the doctor from their company stated that hand washing isn’t good enough since the water isn’t treated like ours back home. We need to use hand sanitizer after washing our hands. Basically, I’ve been washing my hands with poop water…nice. Don’t worry, Mom, I have lots and lots of hand sanitizer.

For all of my followers as to not create a panic, there is differing opinions on the water that we use to brush our teeth and wash our hands. I’d rather play it safe. We were discussing this topic today and there are many opportunities for us to introduce many bugs into our system. If it were feasible and not against the uniform regulation, I could wear rubber gloves the entire time I am here!

It’s really starting to heat up. This past week it was 118 degrees in the shade. Luckily, I don’t have to spend an extraordinary amount of time outside compared to some Soldiers. I’m literally going from one air conditioned facility to another except when I have to use the Porta John. This is where it would be nice to be a guy. You literally burn your butt when you have to use the John in the middle of the day. When I first arrived here and toured the area where we would work, there is quite a large gap between our working conditions and the higher headquarters working conditions. The division headquarters building is like an office building back home with flushing toilets and running water. The building I work in doesn’t have those amenities. Needless to say, I was jealous for a while. Not anymore. I’m not sure what the issue is but every time I go in their building, it smells like poop. My roommate works in that building and I feel bad her. The other day I commented about the smell to another Soldier that works there and he said he didn’t smell anything. I guess it’s a good thing you get used to certain smells, even bad ones, after a while. I’ll take burning my butt on a Porta John seat just so I don’t have to work in a building that smells like poop.

So along this same line of topic, one of my favorite stories that Grandma Dart tells is about the time she gave Sam, the dog, an enema. Grandma Dart was a nurse’s aide for 25 years at Nopeming Nursing Home in Duluth, Minnesota. She hadn’t seen Sam go the bathroom in a few days so naturally she thought he was constipated. She had my Uncle John and a friend of his hold Sam down while she gave him an enema and the dog bolted as soon as he was let go. I’ve never seen Grandma laugh as hard as when she is telling that story.

Recently, I’ve seen a few Iraqi men wearing Capri pants. Is this style something new since I left? Will I come home to Brian wearing Capris? Let’s hope not. I know I shouldn’t talk with all my “Rambo” gear as Brian calls it but, it certainly takes the guessing game out of what to wear when you wear a uniform 24/7.

As mentioned previously, here is the rap I did for Coach’s birthday:

We’re from Minnesota and we know Coach.
He said, “Why don’t ya all come over; I’ll be your host.”
We all replied, “yes”, and so it began
A friendship everlasting with a Mississippi Man
He thought I was Sarah Palin with my rap
The cheerleaders liked him and gave him a cap
He picks us up to dine at the fine chow hall
We dine, we laugh and have a ball
We get to watch movies on some nights, too
Then he plays pool with you know who
Try as he might to win a game
He scratches on the eight ball and starts to complain
“The stick is not straight!”
“Doesn’t your back ache?!”
“It’s hard to play pool with these rules!”
“I’ll read my secret book before the next duel!”
I asked him to run on Memorial Day
He thought it would be fun and he could pave the way
He asked, “How far do I need to run?”
“Very, very, far,” I said, “in the beating sun.”
Near the end he pulled a surprise
He kicked it as if he would win a prize
He quit with the sprinting in the end
Just to cross the finish line with his friend
If you go to church don’t follow him in line
Cause he stuck his fingers in the wine
He probably has told you this before
“If you go to war, go with the Corps”
Coach has made all the difference in this land
A friendship everlasting with a Mississippi Man

The part about the fingers in the wine: Last week we were taking communion at church. Coach was behind me in line and I couldn’t understand why him and Tamara were giggling so hard when we had gotten back to our seats. Well, the truth came out at lunch when he starting telling us about his bread breaking off into the cup and he tried to get it. He ended up having to stick his fingers in there to fish out the chunk of bread. Way to go, Coach!!!!